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The Alpha was the first to go. Everyone was rallying around him, looking to him for the answers. He wanted to lead them outside. We can’t go out there. Not anymore. I told the others it was an accident. I don’t think they believed me. He went downstairs before me. I didn’t have a choice. It didn’t feel like I was doing it. It was almost as if I was watching someone else do it. Their hand moved outwards. Their hand pushed him. It wasn’t me, not really. I wouldn’t do something like that. But it happened. I wonder how long we’re going to be in here. What’s going to happen to us? What am I going to become?
We put the Alpha in the fridge. I said it was so we wouldn’t get sick. But I’m thinking ahead. The food supply isn’t great here and there’s still six of us. There isn’t much left to eat and the others haven’t even thought about it. They just stare out the window looking for someone to come and save us. Nobody’s going to come. Why can’t they see that my way is the right one? They’ll only live through this if they follow me. I’ve been preparing for this for years. Making plans and strategies for every eventuality. I know that I was born to do something great with my life. It’s the only reason that I’m here. I wish they could see that. I wish they saw me the way that I see myself. The Girl follows me. She sees something in me. Something the others don’t. With the Alpha dead; she didn’t have another choice. The others will see it my way soon enough.
We ate the last of the food yesterday. I didn’t try and ration it. I’ve known all along how I would test these people. With the food gone, we can see who is ready to follow. Family Man was the first to take up the knife. I didn’t say why. I didn’t need to. He needed the leader that I was showing him. He started at the Alpha’s arm; separating it at the wrist. He nearly threw up more than a few times. He stuck it out in the end. The rest of them didn’t take long to join in. I cooked the parts. They all ate. To think; we used to be friends.
The group is starting to breed problems. The Bearded One’s trying to reason with the others. Trying to lead them. The Vegetarian is all but broken now. He ate the pectoral muscle of a friend of his. If the vegetarian council ever hear of this, they’ll rip up his membership. He hasn’t said much since then. He mostly sits in the corner, rocking himself backwards and forwards. It’s better that he’s there, not joining this mini rebellion of the Bearded One. Who does he think he is? What does he think he can offer these people that I can’t? I’m the one who’s going to lead us into salvation, not him. He needs to be dealt with. Soon.
The Family Man caused some problems during the night. While the others slept, and the Vegetarian rocked, he dragged me downstairs. He demanded things that he had no right to demand. I didn’t mean to do it. He hit his head. He was gone as he hit the floor. I put him with the Alpha. I made his pieces small enough so he wouldn’t be recognised. I woke the others up by shouting for him to stay. It drew some attention from outside, but I got the door shut and bolted in time. We’re still safe. We’ll always be safe with me at the helm. Nothing bad can happen to us with me here. I am their saviour. The Other Girl doesn’t trust me. She keeps watch at night, staring at me, waiting for me to do something. She spouts the same rubbish as the Alpha did before his accident. She’s going to cause problems for us.
It wasn’t an accident. Not this time. The Other Girl came downstairs while I was preparing breakfast for the morning. Before I knew she was there, a bloody tie wrapped around my neck. She pulled, quickly closing off my throat. I forced us both backwards, slamming her up against the wall. I sent her to the floor with a single punch. As she lay there helpless, I choked the life out of her. I couldn’t have her ruin everything. She joined the Alpha and the Family Man. Well, most of her did. I think there’s still some of her head on the floor.
The Bearded One is still rallying against me. He thinks I killed the Family Man and the Other Girl. I told everyone that she’d run away in the night. They don’t believe me anymore. The Bearded One has the tie. He’s too scared to put it all together, but he knows I’m not telling them everything. Why can’t they see that I’m the only one keeping us all alive, not him? He’s destroying everything I’ve built. He’s scaring the others. He won’t be a problem for much longer. The Girl has proved her worth to me. She follows me. She took him downstairs to talk. She said that she wanted to stop me. She’s a good second in command. Before they got to the bottom she kicked his stick out of his hand. He fell. And now he can’t get back upstairs. Not without his stick. She took that off of him. A trophy to prove her loyalty to me. She’s a sweet girl. She knew that would brighten my day. I’ll cherish it always.
The food is running low. I didn’t think we’d get through it as quickly as we have been. The Vegetarian barely eats. I saw him chewing on a coaster yesterday. Anything to avoid eating that sweet, sweet, delicious flesh. The less he eats, the more I get. I do so enjoy that taste. The supplies are nearly dry. I can’t eat the Girl. She’s the only ally I have. The Bearded One will climb those stairs one day. I have to pass him every time I go to the fridge. When he’s strong enough he’ll jump for me. I know it, I can see it in his eyes. He’ll sink his teeth into me and bathe in my blood. I have to make sure he never gets that chance.
The Girl had proven her worth before, but the final test came this morning. The Bearded One was still asleep. I put my blade in her hand and held her gaze. She knew what I meant. It was him or her. That was her choice. She briefly looked at the rocking Vegetarian, but she knew as well as I did; he’s no threat to us. Plus, there’s no meat on that boy’s bones. There wasn’t a sound as she completed the final test. She knew what I’d done to the Alpha, to the Family Man, to the Other Girl. We never spoke of it, but she knew. I could see it in her eyes. But now she’s in the same boat as I am. We’re both killers. I cooked the Bearded One myself. She set the table. A single candle flickering in the centre. It was almost romantic.
Again, the food reserves are running dry. I don’t know how much longer we can last down here. The Vegetarian will only provide a few days of food. I don’t want to eat the Girl. Through everything, I’ve grown quite fond of her. I’d even go as far as to say that I’d miss her.
There is no more food. We shared the Vegetarian. We’ve picked all of the bones clean. I’m so hungry now. The Girl and I have talked about what we should do next. She’s suggested taking some limbs off each other to keep us going. That’s not the answer. There’s only one way forward. I have to do this. I’m sorry, Rebecca.
© 2016 David Chitty